[Image Credit: Shawnie Hamer]
Where in your life are you being too polite (with yourself)?
One of my favorite Scorpio poets, Samiya Bashir, once said during a reading at Naropa University’s Summer Writing Program: politeness is a form of self-denial.
Notice your shoulders, now. Notice what binaries you gravitate to upon hearing this. Polite/rude is not a two-sided coin. It is a prism. Politeness is a multifaceted construction, built on many things, but the biggest being power. There are many forms of politeness that exclude—genders, races, classes. There are forms of politeness that even oppress, that tell us we have to perform in a certain way to be accepted or even loved.
And our relationship with ourselves is not impervious to these constructions.
Politeness is often rooted in deception and inauthenticity. Most of all, when it comes to ourselves, it is often rooted in fear. We paint on a smile and say, I’m fine, thank you, when everything inside is saying otherwise. We are terrified to wear our complexities, our edges, even our joys or desires, because it might not be received.
What if we gave ourselves permission to be impolite, not mean or harsh, but completely honest. Outside of performance, outside of expectations?
Scorpios have a reputation of being sharp or severe with their honesty, but this is just the shadow side of this sign. Scorpios are also incredibly loving and supportive with their honesty. They can help you see things buried under the debris with new eyes. But the truth is, we often aren’t ready to see or hear this kind of honesty, because it challenges us to fully step into ourselves, to fully love ourselves the way we know deep down we deserve.
I watched a film last night called Spotlight, and at one point, Liev Schreiber’s character says, “I think it’s important to remember that we are stumbling around in the dark. And when the lights come on, it’s easy to assign blame.”
This Scorpio full moon asks us to switch on the lights within ourselves. To look at the ways we dole out blame, which is to say, how we give away our power to others. To search the room and identify what brings us pain, what triggers us, what brings us delight. Where in the room do you desire to be? What do you want to do there?
And most importantly, this moon asks us to see the room for what it really is: a safe place. This is our room and we have the power there. We don’t need to say we’re okay if we’re not. Here, we don’t have to pretend. We can simply be. Is there a better, more freeing feeling that exists?
Give some space to this tender, honest full moon to shed the weight of politeness. Be truly honest with yourself and others. Only you have the agency to go inside this room, to curate it, to clean out the things that do not serve.
And as you go through this process, always come back to this affirmation: Love will not leave me for simply being who I am.
Love will not leave me for simply being who I am.
And with this mantra, and with the vulnerability of this full moon, feel your body begin to shed the weight.
Tarot Reading | 6 of Swords
[ Mary El Tarot ]
The 6 of Swords is a card of quiet transformation, of looking within to find the places of grief and pain that we’ve been forced to accept. These pains have often been with us for so long that we have adapted ourselves around them. And though they do not sink our ships or cause us to fall apart, they do weigh us down.
To me, this harkens back to our room. If we can calmly begin mourning and letting go of these pains that have grown like wily roots in the corners of our heart’s chambers, we can start to see new light fill in through the windows. As Rachel Pollack writes of this card, “The Six of Swords is a Gate. Looking at it with sensitivity and then entering the picture will produce first a quieting effect on the mind and then later, slowly, a sense of movement within the self” (pg. 223).
This self-exploration and honesty doesn’t need to be rushed, nor does it need to happen only for this full moon. Give yourself the space and time to make this journey with reverence. The key is to gently create a shift, a movement, and to clear out the stagnancy that politeness often fabricates.
Happy spring cleaning, dear ones.
Bibliomancy | “Carnot Cycle” by Samiya Bashir
Only sometimes does homegrown bedrock glow moneygreen.
Sometimes rock whines mommy. Sometimes rock coos baby.
Sometimes rock calls late with the mortgage. Sometimes rock
knits shoulder blades right where you can’t pluck.
Early mornings something doesn’t sit right over the sink. Sits crooked.
Slumps askew. Body doesn’t lay the way you left it. Squinting gets
you nowhere. You squat to the floor and feel around. Stop. Smell
for it. Shrug. Still some dangling something modifies you.
Smackdab midchest you feel lumpy empty. Sniff. Sniff.
Like those days we grab our own pickaxes and head down to the
mine. We hum worksongs. We sing hymns. We chip worry stone.
We gather moss. We lie flat. We scratch at the mineshaft. Not
toward exit but deeper to the core.
Source: Poetry Foundation
From Our Facilitators: Are my desires my own or am I drowning? Two dispatches from a soft place by Emily Marie Passos Duffy
[Image credit: Emily Marie Passos Duffy ]
about the author:
Emily Marie Passos Duffy is a poet, writer, and performing artist. Her works explore longing, labor, censorship, and spatial identity. A 2020 finalist for the Noemi Press Book Award and a finalist of the 2020 Inverted Syntax Sublingua Prize for Poetry, she was also named a 2020 Disquiet International Luso-American Fellow. She earned her MFA in Creative Writing and Poetics from Naropa University in 2018. Her ongoing community collaborations include work with Writers Warehouse, Boulder Burlesque, and Tart Parlor. She is currently rebounding from her breakup with higher-ed, working on a chapbook of strip club ephemera and a full-length poetry manuscript. You can receive monthly missives from her here: https://duffylala.substack.com/
Sign up for Emily's Workshop:
[Image Credit: Karen Light]
Sometimes I get these headaches from literally trying to figure everything out all the way through. Have you ever experienced that?
It is a clear indication that I must let go of the reins a bit, which is especially difficult for me to do when I am really excited about a big vision, either for my art or for my creative company. I just want to dig in there and work out all the steps and see the path laid out before me in one clear linear line…
But then my head starts spinning or my eyes start crossing or suddenly I notice I have been scrunching my face for a while and I have gone too far.
I was having one of these moments and I decided to do one of the cards from my new Creative Wisdom Doodle Deck! The card is called 'Move Mountains' and I chose it because I felt like I wanted to do it all, but was limited by time and energy.
As I doodled, the image that emerged was me following little breadcrumbs on the ground.
The message that arose as I contemplated the image was that all I need to do is follow one breadcrumb at a time. Sure, I can hold the big vision! I can use it to be energized and excited! But if I was given everything I had to do to achieve it now, it would only lead to burn out and possible failure. And frankly, there would be little joy in the process.
Instead, the practice is to trust that the piece of clarity I have right now is enough. That taking action on that clarity is the only next step I need to do. And, when this clarity is present, I need to trust that I can handle it, even if it is outside of my comfort zone and a little scary.
Each little breadcrumb is helping me to build the confidence, the skills, and the ideas that will help me to see the next breadcrumb. And, one by one, they will take me on a surprisingly meaningful and creatively adventurous path towards my vision.
Where are you trying to figure it all out? What happens when you just look for the next breadcrumb?
Karen Light is an Artist/Illustrator and a Creative Coach. She is passionate about healing and nurturing the creative spirit. Empowered creatives change their worlds as well as the world and have a lot of fun doing it! Have fun with her and other creative minds as they all find the next breadcrumbs on their creative path in the upcoming Creative Wisdom Doodle-Shop on April 15.
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