I want to write of origin. But how does one adequately speak about something so monumental? So subjective & unique? We all have our own beginnings, our own associations with this word, origin. Some of us might attribute our creation linearly, or by our birth in this life. Some of us might see it as when our souls first arrived, lifetimes & universes ago. No matter your take on the subject, no matter your personal associations, I think we can all agree that our beginning often sways the paths we take, how we form, what stays with us as we move into the world.
But does it need to? Does our origin need to dictate the self?
There are two major etymological meanings of the word origin. The first is as described above. From the Latin originem meaning, "a rise, commencement, beginning, source; descent, lineage, birth.” However, from the Sanskrit iyarti, it means "to set in motion, move." To begin/to move. To birth/to reimagine.
It is in the tension between these two meanings of origin that we find today’s Full Capricorn Moon in Cancer.
As of the Summer Solstice on June 20th, we are in Cancer season. Cancer is cardinal water, and can very easily be interpreted as a mothering feminine energy. The crab’s deep waters can at once soothe and unnerve. Can mimic the motions of the womb and the unnerving overwhelm of swimming alone in the ocean.
On the other hand, Capricorn, our steadfast cardinal earth sign, radiates the fathering masculine. It can tenderly guide or harshly discipline. It can ground us in inspiration and responsibility, or crush all creativity under a rockslide of micromanagement.
As I’ve mentioned in other offerings, every sign has a shadow. And none of these energies operate in a binary. The described manifestations of masculinity and femininity can happen simultaneously, cyclically, etc. Capricorn and Cancer don’t need to represent the heteronormative mother/father duality or family, either. But what they can represent is the tension and collaboration between mothering and fathering that we hold within ourselves.
I also want to say that many of us don’t embrace, or maybe even know, all or parts of our origin story. Sometimes working with our beginnings, or even our child selves, can be harmful or painful. I’ve said it before, and I’ll echo it again here: please don’t go anywhere you can’t come back from.
What I do believe this Full Capricorn Moon in Cancer is gifting us is a moment to gain clarity, and perhaps even acceptance, around our origin. Not so that we can remain in the past, but so we can channel it towards the other embedded energy within origin: to set something in motion.
What are ways we can re-learn or reimagine our inner parenting in order to achieve fulfillment?
What parts of your origin, your lineage, need to be left behind? What can be brought with you?
What definitions of mother/father or masculine/feminine need to be broken or expanded within you so that you feel fully held by your inner parent?
How can our origin become both a space for reprieve and a launch pad for passion?
Tarot Reading | 7 of Cups Reversed
This card in this position speaks to the true power and motion that can arise when the Cancer/Capricorn energies come together in harmony.
Upright, this card is about being stuck in fantasies, dreams, or emotions without a course of action to make them a reality. Reversed, however, we find our path out of fantasyland, not by shrugging dreams off as immaterial, but by embracing them as possible. By embracing the authenticity and ancient wisdom of our emotions/fantasies (Cancer) alongside our action-oriented, grounded self (Capricorn), there’s no stopping us. The actions we set in motion find footing internally and externally. And by doing so, we learn more about our true origins. As Marie White, creator of Mary El Tarot, writes of the wolf shown on this card:
The forest is reality. It is dense and alive, growing and changing. There are many ways through it. There is a well-worn path, tended to and passed down from our ancestors and society. We can take this path with relative ease; or, we can create our own path through the forest, the one that is best to reach our highest potential as an individual human being.
This wolf is the one you meet when you go off the path. He is your own animal self. Wild, passionate, and dangerous, he isn’t tamed and ‘well bred,’ he is majestic and natural. It is such a difficulty for people to balance the beastly and the civilized nature in themselves, but done, it can be channeled into greatness.
Accepting our watery, moon-soaked, wild origins; accepting the grounding of experience, the one that can only be gained by purposefully leaving aspects behind us--this is what allows us to clearly see, maybe even for the first time, not just a path, but our path.
Bibliomancy | “Girl in her Dreamings and Girl in her Hair” | pg. 38 from Some girls walk into the country they are from by Sawako Nakayasu
The mistake is in both belief and memory. At that Girl H lies down flat she is like that. On the bed, she sinks in. In the street, she gets run over. Over a body—body of water—her hair spreads, largest and smallest as a convergent point burned by the unbearable light. Her dreamings do not fracture, they leach slowly into the water, the street, the sheets. Even more slowly, they are welcomed or rejected based on their color. When she catches on to what is happening, she takes to hiding her dreamings, in her hair. Her hair goes long, longer, all the better to hide more and more believings.
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