October Hunter Moon with Maura M. Modeya

Merry meets again! What can I say about the October moon that everyone doesn't already know? This is the time of year for the last harvest in the Northern Hemisphere. This is the time when the veil is thinnest and we are closest to our ancestors and loved ones. It's a time of magic, celebration, and perhaps a bit of mischief. Enjoy this wonderful time of the year and celebrate as you will. Blessed be. 
~Noah

​October 2022 Full Moon offering for Collective Aporia

DOUBLE BACK—DOUBLE MOON

The sensation of doubling back—to go back the way one has come—to dislodge what we’re stuck
on—what if we could go back in our memories, to our past selves, and offer insight from our
present?—what if we double back in order to go forward—time loop—queero helix—there will be
two successive evenings to see the full moon—double moon—where we will be able to see it rising
from the east at dusk

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I go back to the memory of my teenage self under a body—touch her shoulder—rise her up to stand
next to me, looking at the place she had just been

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You have got to goad yourself toward a becoming that is in accordance with what you are innate. You have
got to sometimes become the medicine you want to take.
―Ariana Reines, The Cow

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How are we supposed to imagine four Octobers from now?

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Hunter’s moon—never did care for the skull boil—brains falling out at the hand of a coat
hanger—bubbling bleach water—deer scraps rolled in chicken wire, hanging it for the birds to
peck—the skull mount does look good above the garage though

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Everyday the moths come—the little sheds—tiny gray-brown hairs—this is the undercurrent of our
timeline—releasing what we thought would anchor us—severing the palatable—how we thought
our--
this thought was interrupted by a chickadee—who braves harsh winters, feasts on bloody suet
this was four Octobers ago

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We buy bed frames to sleep closer to heaven—I say how do you have acrylics—they say you have to go
really slow, you should try them—it's not conducive to my lifestyle I say as if I’m fucking all the time

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Resurrection of ourselves—FOR THE FIRST TIME, AGAIN
FOR THE FIRST TIME, AGAIN

THIS IS A RECLAMATION
LOOP IN

LOOP IN

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Turn towards it—to the salt of life—instinctual body—I trace you with ice—lick—throw the cube
to the floor to melt—repeat me—you—again—back into the images of the dark

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We pull our own equinoxes

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Within this dislodgement, doubling back does not hold the promise of resolution but we enter
regardless—we situate ourselves—we make a landing place for solidarity, for showing
entanglements and ultimately, we go back for ourselves

Biography

Maura M. Modeya is a poet & performer. She’s the author of Only Interested in Everything, a poetry chapbook published by Meekling Press. Before heading west, she lived in Chicago where she focused on live performance, as well as producing oddity and storytelling shows. Her work includes themes of sapphic identity, queer westerns, eco-feminism, and the tension that emerges from using 90s/early 00s nostalgia as context for the present. The queer cowb0y as archetype is kind of everything to her and she thinks there is something telling about the first CD someone bought. Let her know yours if you see her. TLC’s CrazySexyCool was her first, purchased at a pawn shop. She holds an MFA in writing and poetics from Naropa University in Boulder, CO where she currently teaches. Find more recent projects at mauramm.com